Fifty candles on the cake,
So many wishes still to make,
And hearts to break,
And risks to take,
If only you could stay awake!
—
Now that you’re fifty,
I want to say,
That I’m sorry you lost all your hair.
Your wig is spiffy,
And if I may,
It looks better than when your head’s bare!
—
Turning fifty’s not so bad,
In fact, it’s pretty wicked!
You’re wise, respected, young at heart,
And get cheap movie tickets!
—
Discounts on bus fare and squinting to read,
Stiff aching joints and physicians to head,
Brand new prescriptions the pharmacist brings,
These are a few of my favorite things!
—
Turning fifty’s not so bad,
Just think of all the fun you’ve had!
Fifty years of hugs and kisses,
Blowing out candles and making wishes!
Let’s raise a glass to the many more,
Happy years you have in store!
—
Tap, tap, tap your cane,
All the way down the street.
Fifty’s nifty,
You’re still spiffy,
Fifty’s really neat!
—
Heating pad for aching hips,
Depilatory for a hairy lip,
Sturdy cane so you will not trip,
When walking in the street.
Glasses for your squinting eyes,
For your hair, a colorful dye,
Discounts when you ride or fly,
Fifty can’t be beat!
—
Today’s your fiftieth birthday,
And we’ll treat you like a queen!
Here’s to all the joy and happiness,
The last fifty years have seen!
—
Happy fiftieth birthday!
Let the festivities start.
Though you’re getting older,
You’re very young at heart.
Age is just a state of mind,
And you’re so full of fun.
You still enjoy a party
As much as anyone.
So let’s get this party started,
To celebrate this day
And make you feel amazing
In every single way.
—
Today you’re turning fifty,
But you say you’re forty-nine.
I don’t care how old you are.
You’re looking pretty fine!
—
Your glasses sit on the tip of your nose,
And you keep your teeth in a jar.
It’s summer, but you wear compression hose,
And you need a cane to walk very far.
The years have changed you, this is true,
But you’re still my shining star.
With each passing year my love only grew,
And I love you just as you are.
—
You’re just getting better, not old,
At least, so says the verse.
But only a friend would be so bold,
To tell you you’re really just worse!
Your ears have more hair than the top of your head,
And even your children look old.
You keep your teeth in a glass by the bed,
And your yearbook is full of mold.
You sank your teeth into a steak,
And that is where they stayed.
Everyone knows your hair color is fake,
And 8:30 is the end of your day.
Every time that you bend over,
You let out an audible groan.
You’re overly proud of your lawn mower,
And can explain a home equity loan.
But you’re my friend, this much is true.
And at fifty, you’re still a star.
Those socks look terrible with your shoes,
But I love you just as you are.