Everyone strike a pose, it’s time for the cameraman’s birthday prose.
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Everyone get in frame, or the photographer’s birthday will be lame.
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No more hocus pocus; it’s time to get the camera in focus. Your birthday almost broke us, but the party is our sacred onus.
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Why are you allowed to work on your birthday? We should take the pictures while you go play. Otherwise, your hairs will turn gray, and the partygoers will stray.
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I know you like to ogle all of your pretty models, but when the shoot is full throttle: Do you put down the bottle? When you forget how to toggle, don’t let your birthday brain be boggled. Just set your inner elf free by taking a downward selfie.
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Say cheese! Oh, what an awful shot to freeze. Can you do it now without a mouthful of cake please? Jeez! This was supposed to be a breeze.
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Your birthday is already here again, so you better pull out the wide lens. Oh wait, you don’t have any friends. That’s probably because you were too busy taking pictures of them. So blow out a solitary candle, and put a photo of the lonely cake on the mantle.
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Instead of cake, we got you cheese. Now can you stop making us say that, please? We’re begging and pleading on our knees. Why don’t you just take more pictures of the Seven Seas?
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I know its your job, but birthday photos make us sob. We always shudder when you use the shutter; please stop turning our nerves to butter. We’ll throw your camera in the gutter, don’t make us stutter.
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Without glamour, I will hammer your camera to oblivion, because in a minute, we’ll give you a brand new one.
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Every time I hear a click, I think it’s you taking a pic. So, thanks for making me paranoid. I am now forever annoyed. That’s why I broke your camera like a little boy breaks a toy. At least I got you a new one for your birth, but I broke it too in a fit of mirth.
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I got you a present. It’s a picture of a peasant with a pheasant being unpleasant. I think it sums up your true essence.
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Don’t tell me you forgot to remove the cap, and lost every image you thought you snapped. Now, our memories turn to crap. For that, you should be slapped. The only reason you get away is because it would be mean to hit someone on their birthday. Oh well, it might just happen anyway. What do you say?
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We all just came here for closure, but you always treat it like overexposure. We don’t want to face the stark doom of being developed in your dark room.
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Photographers are always obsessed with proof, which makes them a little bit aloof, but we hope you always find the truth! You are our ingenious birthday sleuth.
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You must be an angel, because your birthday photos look good from every angle. Either that or your technology is entangled to be all fancy and newfangled.
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We forgot to get you a tripod, so now you will be screaming, “Why God?”